When did I become my mother's mother?

When did I become my mother's mother? No, really. When did I become the one that has to tell her when to take a bath? I don't even have to tell my 13yo when to bathe (only when to put on a clean shirt, but that's a different story).

I am one of the Sandwich Generation -- the children of elderly parents taking care of their parents and their own children at the same time. Our kids look to us as parents for love, guidance and discipline. Our kids want to please us. When we have to be a parent to our own parents though, that's not the case. Our parents don't want us to be their parents and refuse to listen to anything we have to say. They make life frustrating and difficult.

My mother has decided to stop bathing. She hasn't bathed or washed her hair in months. She has reasons, which are odd to say the least, and only make sense her. When I had a fit about it, she laughed at me said I had "strange ideas". When I hired an aide to come in once a week and help her bathe, she refused the help and instead spent spent the time with the aide making her sit and visit with her.

My mother still views me as a female child -- both strikes against me. She won't listen to what a woman has to say, and she certainly isn't going to take direction from her child. We have a battle of wills going on over taking a bath, and she has full control of the situation.

Stay tuned.